April 24, 2023
Castellano turns the beach-read genre on its head in her clever debut. Fifty-nine-year-old Kathleen moves from Kansas to the little seaside town of Whitbey, N.Y., after her husband, Tom, makes the surprising announcement that he wants a divorce. Expecting a “bucolic paradise” and “small-town charm,” Kathleen buys a waterfront oyster shack and drives across country, but instead of beachfront bliss, she finds a two-room shed with a leaking roof and a rotting bulkhead, next door to a McMansion-in-progress, a monstrosity the locals call the Sugar Cube. Soon she finds herself engaged in an impassioned, one-sided correspondence with the town supervisor, detailing her grievances regarding the massive construction project. She also inadvertently takes a side in a local turf war regarding the development of a vacant waterfront property. And rather than meeting a handsome stranger as she’d hoped, Kathleen is instead surprised when Tom shows up, having bailed on a cruise around the world and purchased an Airstream, which he parks in Kathleen’s driveway. The plot, which culminates in some big, late-breaking twists, is a bit lopsided, but Kathleen’s character and worldview are impeccably drawn, thanks to Castellano’s idiosyncratic and assured voice. This witty send-up is a winner.
May 19, 2023
DEBUT After Kathleen Deane's husband Tom tells her he wants to trade their routine life for a year on a cruise ship without her, she impulsively purchases a beach house on the East Coast and moves halfway across the country from Kansas. Upon arrival in Whitbey, Kathleen is surprised to find that her new home is next door to a construction site. She quickly befriends her neighbor Rosemary, and they bond over a shared enemy--the disruption on their street. Together they fight the construction project's many code violations by attending local meetings, writing countless emails, and composing an ill-advised letter to the editor. Kathleen is soon consumed with the behemoth next door. When her complaints are largely ignored, it only fuels her obsession. Then out of nowhere, Tom shows up, his world cruise a bust, and camps out on her property. When it becomes clear that Kathleen has uncovered local corruption, she's faced with the possibility that she may have gone too far. VERDICT Funny and relatable, this fast-paced debut novel is guaranteed to give pause to anyone thinking about moving to a beach town.--Karen Core
Copyright 2023 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.
Starred review from May 15, 2023
Long Island beach house update: Still ruining lives, one zoning violation and bachelorette party at a time. "Never buy a beach house. Don't even dream about one. Don't save your money or call real estate agents or pick out a white couch. If you must do something, pray for the people who do own beach houses." Following in the fearsome footsteps of Amy Fusselman's The Means (2022), Castellano's wickedly funny debut unfurls in miserable yet gleeful detail the soul-sucking nightmare of owning a house on the Long Island oceanfront. As the novel opens, its narrator, Kathleen Deane, explains that just three years ago she was "a normal person [with] a husband, a job, and a house with no view in Kansas City." But when her husband leaves her to "find himself" on a four-month world cruise, she falls prey to a decade of Christmas letters from a childhood friend singing the praises of living in a beach town on Long Island. She purchases a 700-square-foot oyster shack, recently updated to include indoor plumbing, located in a spot so close to the waterfront that it's "practically floating." Then she drives out there, using the interstate highway system to traverse the five stages grief--denial in Missouri, anger in Illinois, etc.--ultimately becoming "the first person in history to reach acceptance on the Long Island Expressway." Arriving at her new digs, she's greeted by Rosemary, her neighbor from across the street, who draws her attention to a gigantic McMansion being built right next door to her shack. Rosemary will become her partner in a futile war against the construction of the Sugar Cube, which is steaming along with town-sanctioned exceptions to every ordinance on the books. Long and deeply hilarious emails from Kathleen to the town supervisor enumerate the outrages as they pile up, including the time the Sugar Cube's septic tank contaminates the water supply, sending her to the hospital; the illegal rental of the finished house as an Airbnb party venue; and her embroilment in an FBI money-laundering and racketeering sting. Not long after she gets settled in her new home, she takes a depression quiz from the AARP magazine: "a fun little treat!" When she reports that she's only "moderately" depressed, Rosemary comments presciently, "Well, there's still time." Clearly, the key requirement for successful beach house ownership is a (possibly illegal) sense of humor. Bring it on!
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